The story that happened to come up was of a young girl who had been run over and killed, but had previously decided that she wanted to donate her organs in the event of a tragedy. Kyle chuckled and said, in his best newscaster voice, “She donated her liver to a pancake.”

Realizing how offensive what he had just said was, he turned to gauge my reaction, only to find me laughing. That one comment became the start of what cemented our friendship: A complete and total abandonment of good taste in the name of humor. Looking back, you’d think that a mutual love for grown men throwing each other into barbed wire rigged with explosives would have clued us in to this aspect of each other, but as I stated earlier, it’s all about timing.


That Friday progressed like any other. All of my teammates and I were excited about the Improvedy show that night, I tuned out French class to sneak glances at Laura Verstegen (Still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen), and I spent my lunch break in the library furiously trying to finish a novella before the school year ended and all of my progress would be erased.

Things were going fine until midway through 8th period, when I was told that I was expected in the office. Unsure of what might have happened, I nonchalantly sat down. The school’s police liaison poked his head from out of his office and cordially said to me “Are you Matthew Perry?”

“Uh, yeah,” I answered him in confusion.

“Alright, great, we’ll be with you in a minute, we’re just expecting one more student here. . .” he said, ducking back into his office.

I thought nothing of his comment until a moment later, when Kyle walked into the office. We looked at each other in confusion. My first thought was “What a coincidence. . .”

Matt Perry
Happy Families
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